Wisdom Through Pain
|Route of Administration
|Oral via gel cap
Dosed in gel cap.
Take a shower.
Finish shower. Nothing yet except a slight nauseous feeling.
Feeling uplifted and euphoric, like a good psychedelic comeup. I feel sedated too, perhaps not sedated as much as not feeling the expected stimulation.
Nausea is very prominent now. I feel pretty uncomfortable. None of the usual chills or jitters or shakiness though. I just feel faded with a blunted affect.
The tremors and jitters and shudders and rest of the body load settle in now. I throw up. It sucks but I feel better afterwards. Still some nausea and aching but I feel okay.
Nausea and aching return. But now I feel deeper in its awesome yawning headspace. It is lucid, I can clearly think and meditate, thoughts are rational and connected, almost too perfectly. Visuals begin to appear as swirling and drifting textures at the corners of my vision
I am beginning to definitely peak now. The visuals are large and flashing- they are not overly meticulous and intricate, but rather a harmonious assemblage of larger intertwined and interacting forms and patterns. Not so much nausea anymore as just cramping and aching. Everything feels like its caught in a swirling eddy or twisting whirlwind, everything twists and twirls and rolls as it moves.
The closed eyed visuals are spectacular and dissimilar from other phenethylamines I have taken. They are 3-dimensional forms, looking rendered and produced as CGI. It reminds me of dissociatives. Except I am not able to sink into any sort of dissociative state, no matter how hard I meditate. This does not seem to be a drug that lends itself to ego death or total confusion / break with reality. Rather, it seems to anchor me in reality as an absolutely observant form to efficiently process thoughts and stimuli. Behind my eyelids pyramids and cones and prisms and rhombs cast in dramatic stark light shift around in their respective planes. Soon they find themselves coated in checkerboard patterns, their backdrop a swirling tie dye kaleidoscope of swirling dim yet vibrant colors and textures. Forms that resemble greek columns float in from the wings of my vision.
The open eyed visuals make me recall my first times doing acid. Semi-biomorphic and pariedoilic forms decorate the walls and ceiling like incredibly intricate and detailed relief carvings. They seem to recede into infinite depth, hallways of textures lined with the stoic chiseled faces of birds and reptilian beings. Every time I move my eyes, a line of tracers follows the object of my focus, like that old windows xp glitch when you tried to drag a window that was not responding. The patterns that form an interstice between these forms are serpentine, angular tendrils and ropes entwining to form intricate laceworks. They are floral, they blossom and ripple with concentric lines. I decide to go outside and play around in my garden.
This drug has gladly taken the opportunity today to introduce me to its properties. It enhances perception, it enhances associative rationalizing, it enhances mental efficiency and acuity, it is perfect for aiding introspection, while itself providing an exciting substrate to explore, an infinitely nested scaffolding of absurdity and novelty. However, this comes at a price, it comes at the price of one’s body. Indeed, the nausea I had complained about before still came back in waves. This drug is elegant and reserved in how it will receive visitors. I probably would have been having an awful experience were I not experienced in general. With pain comes wisdom.
The visuals are bright, glowing and buzzing with adamantine rainbow auras, they are also eerie, with a thousand pariedoilic faces staring at me everywhere I glance. The CEV world is the same stimmy colorful checkerboard world I described before, and while I canno sink into a dissociated CEV space with my eyes closed, I can get distracted by the silliness and novelty of the drug long enough to lose track of time. The visuals are beginning to look like spirographs and wireframes.
Empathogenic effect noted around now. I want to tell my friends how great they are and how much I appreciate them. I want to tell my friends who like substances about this glorious challenge I have set upon myself. I feel as though the sheer introspective power of this mysterious drug lends it immense therapeutic potential.
Still peaking hard. I am back inside now, after collecting several insect specimens. Everything feels so deep and profound, the closest experience I can liken this two is 4-HO-MET. Especially with the lasting bodyload. I am able to draw definite and cryptic connections between all sorts of thoughts and ideas.
I meditate for a while. I feel like my mind has gone onto working automatically, and more efficiently. Like replacing the potential for human error with that of an extremely efficient machine. My brain is a computer, processing inputs and responding methodically and meticulously. Thoughts were just branching and blossoming in reaction to one another. Time was a major theme of this meditation, thoughts on my past, on the distant past, thoughts on the distant future and how others experience time. Indeed, time was heavily altered in my state of meditation, I could use the music that was playing as a way to guide this- I would hear it slow down and speed up. My sense of time had become completely arbitrary. I have a headache now. The visuals this time with my eyes closed were intertwining ribbons that embraced and wound around one another. They formed colorful and harmonious patterns, too perfect for this world. My flow of thoughts is lucid, focused, and unclouded. It doesn’t even seem like I have that infectious curiosity that a lot of drugs give me.
Still peaking. I make arts and crafts, my stomach still hurts.
Cramps subsiding, Coming down now.
Back to baseline
Conclusion / Aftermath
This is the first experience with a 2C-T-x substance, 2 of which (2C-T-2 and 2C-T-7) are highly praised by shulgin (though in my reading it seems people like 2C-T-21 the best). The last one, 2C-T-4, doesn’t get as much positive press. They have all been described as powerful, therapeutic, challenging, and introspective. Indeed they are all rough on the body, featuring nausea and vomiting. Their unique composition gives them unique pharmaceutical interactions, mostly stemming from their activity as a weak MAOI. I had a gap in my medications due to fucking up getting a psychiatrist appointment, so I took the opportunity to sample this one while my blood was pure. Infinitely deep and rewarding compound with a lot to offer, and novel headspace, shame it hurts so much though. Its lessons must come through pain.